Somethings Happening
Somethings happening to me. I cannot seem to stop thinking about my precious Bill Hemmer. He seems to be worming his way into the territory of my brain/heart once reserved for the one and only George Clooney. What qualities could this man possibly bear to cause my allegiance to GC to faulter? Could it be his boyish good looks? His broad shoulders? He speaks as if only to me. Every morning between 6-7 am he is there for me, with his bright and shiny smile, saying things like "In a matter of moments..." and "We're looking into this story". What could this all mean? More importantly, where does this leave my relationship with my future second husband? I will try to remain steadfast in devotion to GC, but already tonight I find myself searching the internet for Bill Hemmer bobble head dolls. I never searched for GC bobble head dolls. Something is happening. Something is happening.
Behold
The Prayer of the Hemmerati
The Bill is not Shepard. We shall not want.
He maketh us all tingly. He leadth us to the YouTube link. He restoreth our libidos.
He leadth us to the commercial. For the sponsors sake.
Yea, though we walk through the valley of the shadow of O'Reilly we will fear no loofah for the Bill art with us.
His tie and clipboard comfort us. He preparest a segment in the presence of Roger.
He annointest us with his smile. Our cups done runneth over.
Surely goodness and Martha McCallum shall follow him all the days of his life and we shall dwell online with the Bill forever!
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